I will start by saying I have struggled in the past with being positive. I wouldn’t say I was really ever the biggest ‘Negative Nancy’ but being a positive person never really came naturally to me, it’s something overtime I have really had to work on. I have worked on my mindset, my general outlook on life and learned a great deal about acceptance and appreciation. There is no magic wand, no light switch moment it does entail some ground work but it is possible to evolve into a ‘Positive Percy’ and join the sunny side and once you do there’s no turning back.
It took me roughly 2 years to feel the way I do today but I opted a slow process week by week becoming more and more uplifted. One of the main things that keeps me positive is having confidence in myself. I find when I work on my confidence I automatically feel more positive. If you often feel self conscious then in turn you will begin to naturally chip away at your own positively. I have a huge post on confidence coming up soon.
Another way in which I try to stay positive is by regularly reminding myself that it is ‘ I’ who is in charge of the way I feel. For example a group of people are making you feel intimidated maybe making you feel insecure; it’s very easy to react negatively in this situation to think “why are they making me feel insecure? why are they making me feel so terrible? Please stop right there… Those people are probably not going to change so it is you who needs to take charge here and alter the way you are thinking and you can do this. You are in charge of the way you feel. Say to yourself “why am I allowing these people to dominate my feelings? I will not allow anyone permission to make me feel negative towards myself. I am confident in myself and I like myself even if they don’t. I control my own thoughts and feelings and negativity will not bring me down”.
Positivity in my opinion can be very much down to choice. Not always in this case I realise in situations of seriously diagnosed depression say for an example- I disclaim here I am no expert in this field and in no way qualified to speak of such matter in depth but in most situations – here again I speak loosely- yes I do believe there is a certain amount of choice balance. You can choose to dwell, choose to always start with thinking of the worse case scenario in a situation or you can opt for the best outcome, to see the best side of a situation, try to find a solution to that problem but it does come with a deal of mental practice. Even if you have to literally stop yourself mid-thought, snap yourself out of any thoughts that might be edging towards ‘Nancy’s door. You will have to adopt a certain amount of self discipline to begin with but eventually the positives begin to dilute the negatives and that balance does start to tip in your favour.
Reading positive quotes can keep you uplifted and on the right track. Saving some to Pinterest or your camera roll on your phone for easy access is a great idea. Building an optimistic outlook can often be as simple as forcing your brain to literally flip to the opposite outcome or scenario. You are doubting your ability to take on a task for instance- your brain is telling you ” I can’t do that, it’s impossible, no sir no way”. Force that mental flip, stop and start with “how can this be done, how can I find a way to tackle this problem, everything is a possibility, where there is a will there is a way”. Eventually with repetition you will subconsciously start changing the way you look at everything, at every situation for the better.
Staying positive is mostly down to continued self development, an ongoing mental practice but one you will become more willing to adopt the more you see and feel the benefits. Take control of spiralling built up thoughts, endless tasks to do for instance, write them down. A positive mind is often a clear mind and I will let you in on a small thing I do on occasion. Say I have 10 tasks to get done today, I’ve already achieved 2 already but I still write them down on my list, then I immediately cross them off. This way I feel like I have already made a positive start and in turn gives me more motivation to continue down the list. There is a sense of achievement instantly which kicks off those positive feelings.
I think of my children. The way I think will affect my mood in turn this will affect how I cope with my children day to day. I was to influence my children in a good positive way and not feel overwhelmed if they are having a difficult day. By starting a day in a positive way with a positive attitude really sets you up for a good day and helps keep the momentum going. Throughout the day I am able to take on challenging behaviour in a calmer more controlled way. With continued practice this happened more and more naturally and positive energy just surrounds you and your space.
By doing things that make you feel happy or even just avoiding things that won’t as often as you can also helps you stay on track. You control your own life and making decisions that suit yourself and please yourself and make you happier makes it harder to feel any negativity. By being aware and living in the moment especially when things are going right force me to appreciate things a lot more which also brings on the feeling of positivity. Really becoming self aware of all the wonderful moments life brings and all the beautiful people in your life works well too. Pep talking yourself telling yourself “I can do it, I really can accomplish anything I put my mind too” really helps you go into any situation with your positive pants on. Self assurance is a big one to practice, talk to yourself like you would to someone you really care about.
Living in positive surroundings, choosing not to watch that depressing TV show picking the comedy instead has a huge effect. Similarly the people you surround yourself with, if the surroundings are stressful or carry negative energy this will surely drag you down. When you are stressed small issues become huge problems and quickly consume your mind if you aren’t careful and this is wasted energy for sure. By eliminating as much stress, as many ‘draining people’ and as many bad influences to your positive energy as possible you will succeed.
By giving out positive vibes to the people I see throughout the day makes me feel good in general. By giving a positive compliment to someone, by giving a positive opinion on something all works wonders. Accepting that often things will happen in life that as out of our control and learning to let go of these things is one I have actually struggled with as I’m rather a control freak naturally but I do try to work on this regularly and I feel I will achieve this and learn to embrace change a bit more and learn alternative routes are often there for a reason.
And finally get enough rest and sleep. A well rested mind is a more productive mind and in turn more positive!
I Thankyou for taking the time to read my post.